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The adventures of a courageous heart

Once upon several billion times,  new life is born.

Well, the life itself might have been here all along, something which is widely debated in various fora across time and space.

We call it a child, and poets call them stars and other wonderful things.

Their job is to be happy, we think.

The truth is that what their job actually is, is highly debated as well.

Ripe with challenges it is hard to fathom this thing called life. Though in the beginning none of them seem to question it. 

They all start out just being what they are and experiencing what they are experiencing.

Some are born to very loving mothers and when they get upset, children are quite often very good at being upset, the mother just sits in her rocking chair while they wail.

Some are born to mothers who are not quite done being a scared child themselves and thus the wailing is something they often have in common. It is very hard for a child to build up any kind of confidence wailing when the mother has no confidence herself. It is widely common among children to at this point decide to be "good", or even "bad".

You see, this thing called life holds many confusing lessons. Very few things seem clear cut. Take wailing mothers for instance. A wailing mother is not a great builder of confidence in a child. But a mother who wants to wail, or even needs to, makes the child even less confident should she elect not to. Also the thinking of it is highly questionable since the more thinking is done, the greater the chance of a sense of prevailing not-ok-ness. Which in all cases is recognised as a huge drain on energy. People who live "bad" lives and never question them, seem more at peace with the "bad"-ness of it.

This is where our adventure begins though. In the changing of a life. Because each and every heart has in them at least one adventure, and we call it life.

Twas a bright morning in february when a young woman felt her contractions begin. Our little adventurer was about to make herself known to us. Of course, her adventure bad already begun. At least nine months earlier. No matter. We are meeting her now. Shining like a bright light, just like the billions of other babies. One might easily get lost in the pureness of this "new" life.

What now?

Life - as we know it. The scaryness of the big world. The safeness of the mothers embrace. Every experience  clear and strong. Children are not afraid of experiencing life. This is a trait learned from life, our mother, father, siblings and other souls that sail in and out of our existence. Much later in life this heart felt it made sense to go back to the pure experiencing of life, the universe and everything. Especially the universe inside. This occurred mainly due to a rather repetitive urge to try new methods meant to make life ok. She had spent most of her life trying to control both life and her reactions to it, in many different disguises. So this is a true adventure, going from a lot of thinking about everything to the pure experiencing of it.

It took dome doing, going from desperately trying to make everything ok, to just being OK with everything. The "everything" held great variation also. Some days nothing felt OK, and it was hard to be OK with it. So it took a lot of courage, to wake up scared and finding ok-ness with it.

When most of life in this realm, at least the most of life known to our adventurer, is poised towards making life ok, the being ok with life the way it showed up takes courage and not an insubstantial amount of faith. Not to mention a lot of reminding. Life is very generous in giving opportunities to remember. There seems to be no end of such opportunities. Which oftentimes begs the question:

WHY?

And that is OK.

One benefit you see, of practising OK-ness is that knowing becomes optional. Actually it becomes rather uninteresting. If one is no longer required to make everything OK, one does not have to know everything either. Vast amounts of experience can thus be left alone. The whole thing becomes quite relaxing. What there is to this adventure then, might or might not make itself known. Both of which is OK.

Some times life's other adventurers jump up and down professing the not-ok-ness of life, or this moment, or even our adventurer. It then becomes rather hard to be ok with anything. 

Which is OK.

Not matter how not-ok everything is, and for how long, it is always enough to just find something to be ok with. Even if this something is just being ok with not being ok with everything.

Every consequence, real or imagined, pales when met with OK.

"My husband doesn't understand me"

OK. That is ultimately his business.

And suddenly that doesn't hurt any more. It becomes something that doesn't have to change. Something I don't have to change or fix or help. This is very relaxing.

Even waking up miserable and being scared of being miserable is OK. 

I am fat. OK
I hate being fat. OK
My health is going. OK
I have no life. OK

See how relaxing it is, when every little bit is ok?

I CAN'T BE OK WITH EVERY THING!!!!!!!

OK! Don't worry, you don't have to be.

The question that arises then, is....what?

What lies ahead? What is life? What is life trying to tell me? What might happen, if whatever happens is OK?

Now that, is an adventure...
 

 

 

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Anita Kristensen

Anita Kristensen

47, Svelvik

En sprudlende jente, som liker engasjere seg. Jeg er vel opptatt av politikk, men flger lite med i dagspresse etc, fordi det blir for mye konfliktfokus. Kanskje jeg er mer opptatt av filosofi, jeg mener...hvordan ER verden egentlig? EGENTLIG?? :)

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